No. 232 - Mom Died

My mother died four weeks ago

My heart feels irreparably shattered

I’m lost

I’m crying

My chest hurts … my soul is suffocating

Just cold tears in my sideburns

No one to tell my fears to

I never wanted life without her

I’m not ok

I hear bagpipes and I cry

And I’ll tell eveyone I’m fine

because what else can I tell you?

The person who loved me most is gone

to heaven

to be with my little brother

and her father who she’s missed every day

A gentle Scottish man who loved her unconditionally

I think I’ll get lost in the pipes from her homeland tonight

and be grateful she’s not suffering

not trapped in a hospital bed

and doctors appointments

and a schedule of pills

But I want her

She was all mine all my life

My safety, my rock

I dreaded this

But she’s in heaven with God

I was the luckiest kid in the world to have her for a mom

This is tough