No. 176 - Poor Man’s Game Notes II: UGA vs. Tennessee, 9/13/25

I’ve been to Knoxville once – in ’97 – to visit my only two friends who, when debating on where to spend four (or six) years of college, thought that dressing up like a tangerine on gameday was a good idea.

My memories from that weekend are hazy at best, but I recall going to a skin-joint on the rough side of town. Admission was two dollars. Mind you, no one was of drinking age, but this topless bar wasn’t interested in our age as much as the cash in our pockets.

For starters, the hillbilly on the turntable was drunker than we were. How the girls got motivated to do their job while Charlie Daniels was stuck on repeat is a testament to their professionalism.

There was only one pole, so while Tiffany did her thing, the rest of the gals sat behind her on folding chairs and smoked cigarettes.

Other than their frayed unmentionables, Bubbles wore a foot-tall blonde wig, and Misty had a UT tattoo on her ankle, though I reckon from the faded edges she had it done back in the ’80s.

Eventually, the girls sat with us, discussing Peyton’s arm and playing rock-scissors-paper to see who’d turn off “What This World Needs Is a Few More Rednecks.”

Anyway, you haven’t lived until you’ve seen a middle-aged stripper dance to “Uneasy Rider.”

We shagged ass when the ashtray was overflowing and our pockets were empty. My last memory was standing on the bumper of an old K-5 Blazer as we tore through the gravel parking lot.

When we woke up the next morning, my buddy pulled a matchbook out of his jacket with a phone number on it, and scribbled in red ink: “With all my love, Peaches.” A mischievous grin appeared on his face as the wheels started turning … “Hey boys, one of the gals at the Dew Drop Inn gave me her number.”

“The Dew Drop Inn? You idiot, that’s the name from the Charlie Daniels song.”

“Well, who gives a damn what the name is? What do y’all think about going back? Peaches said they have a killer lunch special.”

Right about then I started missing Athens and made the decision to get the hell out of Knoxville and never come back.